Wednesday, December 8, 2010

sick days

Today is one of those days that I question my decision to go back to work.

Last night Cash was crying, pretty much all night. He woke up at 10pm and just wanted me to hold him. He would fall asleep on my shoulder and when I tried to put him back in his bed he would scream. This happened all night long. I think I got a total of 90 minutes of sleep last night.

So I know that I need to take him to the doctor, but I have work and Russ can't take him because he has to travel today to Oklahoma. I struggle with work and the kids all the time. The guilt of being a working mom just overwhelms me sometimes. Days like this, I am just tired. Tired of waking up at 4:30 every morning, tired of driving 1 hour each way to work, tired of having to kiss my babies good bye and telling them "mommy has to go to work", tired of wondering what kind of day the boys are having, and tired of being tired when I get home.

This too shall pass and I'll get over my self pity...but I think I deserve days like this. I think I need days like this to keep me grounded and remind me what's really important...my boys (all 3 of them).

1 comment:

  1. I feel your struggle. I remember those days. Now that I'm staying at home I still struggle, but in a different way. I think being a mom can be stressful. You have extreme highs, accompanied by exhausting lows. Call me if you ever need to vent. And for what it counts, I think you are an amazing mom.

    ReplyDelete